🧠 Mindset Abroad: The Things Nobody Tells You Before Moving Abroad

Honest advice for navigating the emotional side of relocation—homesickness, identity shifts, making new friends, and finding your rhythm in a new place.

Moving abroad is a big deal—and not just on paper.

When we talk about relocating for work, we usually focus on logistics: flights, documents, finding a flat, opening a bank account. But beneath all that, there's a quieter (and deeper) story that rarely gets told: what it feels like to start over somewhere new.

Because the truth is, living abroad isn’t just about switching countries. It’s about navigating a whole new version of yourself.

The emotional part nobody warns you about

You land, you unpack, you try to settle in. And then it hits you: everything familiar is gone—your grocery store, your street sounds, the way people greet each other. Even the bread tastes different.

That disorientation? It’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s a natural part of adapting.

In fact, homesickness isn’t a weakness—it’s a memory echo. Your body and brain are just trying to catch up to your decision.

Making friends isn’t instant—but it’s possible

Forget the idea of walking into a bar and instantly forming a friend group like in the movies. Real connection takes time—and repetition.

If you're feeling lonely, you’re not alone. Try this:

• Join something recurring (language exchange, book club, climbing gym). The more often you show up, the easier the conversations get.

• Keep it low pressure. A 20-minute coffee can lead to real connection down the line.

• Start with micro-plans. Invite someone to a museum or a walk. No need for full-on dinners just yet.

And if you need a script:
“Hey, I just moved here and I’m trying to explore the city a bit—want to grab a quick coffee near [neighborhood] this week?”
It works.

Your identity will shift—and that’s okay

One of the strangest parts of living abroad? Realizing you don’t fully recognize yourself. Maybe you’re quieter. Or more adventurous. Or suddenly craving food you never liked before.

That’s not you losing yourself. That’s you expanding.

The version of you that thrives abroad might look, sound, or even dress differently. Embrace it. This is growth, not disappearance.

It’s not just the language—it’s the confidence to use it

You don’t need perfect grammar to make a friend, order lunch, or ask for directions. You need a smile, some key phrases, and the courage to try.

The goal? Connection, not perfection.
Most people will appreciate the effort. And if you mess up? That’s how you learn.

Work is different, too—and so are expectations

Every company has its own culture, and so does every country. You might be used to direct feedback, and now everything feels vague. Or maybe you’re used to flexible hours, and now you're adjusting to strict time clocks.

Here’s the key: observe first, adjust slowly.
Don’t be afraid to ask for clarity: “What does success in this role look like after the first 30 days?”
Set gentle boundaries. Take breaks. Breathe.

The homesickness comes in waves

Some days you’ll feel totally fine. Other days, a smell or a song will knock the wind out of you.

Create small rituals that keep you grounded:

• A weekly video call with someone who gets you

• A familiar meal on Sundays

• A playlist that feels like home

• A 20-minute solo walk when things feel heavy

And remember: you’re allowed to miss people and still love where you are.

The mental load is real. Be kind to yourself.

You’re constantly making decisions: new routines, new transport, new currency, new everything. That takes energy.

So don’t beat yourself up for needing extra rest, saying no to a plan, or craving alone time.

Make space for yourself. Sleep, hydrate, stretch. Eat something nourishing. It’s not just self-care—it’s fuel for the adaptation marathon.

A 30-day mindset reset (if you’re starting fresh)

Instead of trying to “get it all right,” focus on just this:

• Week 1: Get your basics sorted (SIM card, transport pass, local grocery store)

• Week 2: Say yes to one small social thing

• Week 3: Join something recurring

• Week 4: Reflect on one thing you’re proud of

That’s enough. That’s plenty.

Some final words (from one expat to another)

If you feel off-balance, out of place, or overwhelmed—it doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice. It means you’re in it.
You’re doing something hard and brave and incredibly real.

This isn’t just “living abroad.”
This is becoming who you’re meant to be, somewhere new.

And hey—we’re rooting for you.

👣 Looking for your next step?

At City Job Offers, we help candidates like you not only move, but land. With jobs across Europe and real support from day one.

👉 Check out our open roles and start your journey.
Work abroad, live like a local.